Life and Living

Growing old is painful, right?

2012-02-07T09:25:00.000+07:00

Growing old is painful, right?

There comes the time when we have to find money by ourselves
to work our ass off
to pay taxes
to miss our old friends we used to meet and laugh with almost everyday
to remember good memories we created when we were younger
to conquer life by ourselves
to really experience what older people had been saying about "beware of the real life"
to put into practice what we have learned
to not longer be told, but rather be judged
to not longer curious about small things like we used to when we were kids
to not longer be told that it's ok to make mistakes

but every pain has its own cure, right?
and what is the cure for painful process of growing up?

old memories?
friends?
best friends?
works?
family?
ambition?
dream?
the one you love?

or the cure is not yet invented?

Quarter-life crisis?

2012-01-31T15:49:00.005+07:00

Connecting the dots is easier than creating the dots
Looking backward is easier than looking forward
Remembering memories is easier than experiencing present time, taking journey to the future
Listening to stories is easier than experiencing
Thinking is easier than doing
Planning is easier than executing

Saat pergi dan pulang kerja menjadi tantangan

2012-01-30T10:02:00.003+07:00

Perjalanan menuju kantor dan pulang dari kantor selalu merupakan tantangan tersendiri bagi saya. Saya menyukai pekerjaan saya dan tidak memiliki masalah apapun dengan rekan-rekan kerja saya. Masalahnya terletak pada jalanan Jakarta yang harus saya lalui setiap hari dari rumah ke kantor dan begitu pula sorenya dari kantor ke rumah. Setiap hari saya harus menghabiskan waktu dua jam untuk berangkat ke kantor dan dua jam pulang ke rumah, waktu yang seharusnya bisa ditempuh masing-masing hanya dalam waktu tiga puluh menit bila jalanan lancar. Teman-teman saya bahkan ada yang menghabiskan waktu enam jam sehari dalam perjalanan. Saya rasa ini akan bertambah parah dalam waktu satu tahun, karena kantor saya terletak di kawasan kuningan yang saat ini tengah ada pembangunan jalan layang dan lebih dari satu mall serta kawasan pemukiman. Akan lebih banyak orang yang melintas dan bertujuan ke kawasan ini, sehingga kepadatan jalanan akan menjadi satu hal yang tak mungkin dihindari.

Apa yang dapat saya lakukan? Saya rasa satu-satunya solusi bagi diri saya sendiri adalah berangkat lebih pagi. Tidak mungkin saya bisa pulang lebih awal kecuali dalam kondisi tertentu yang diizinkan oleh kantor saya. Jadi sepertinya solusi hanya berlaku untuk perjalanan pergi, namun kemacetan harus saya hadapi setiap kali saya pulang.

Apakah ada hal lain yang dapat saya lakukan? Apakah ada hal yang dapat saya lakukan yang tidak hanya berguna untuk diri saya, tetapi juga untuk masyarakat Jakarta yang mengalami masalah yang sama dengan saya, yang merasa lelah dengan kemacetan Jakarta, yang waktunya termakan sia-sia oleh kemacetan, energinya terkuras di jalan, dan merasa terjebak dengan keadaan yang tidak kunjung membaik? Apakah ada hal yang tidak hanya dapat saya lakukan, tetapi bersama-sama dengan teman-teman yang lain untuk menjadikan Jakarta kota yang lebih nyaman untuk menjalani kehidupan sehari-hari?

Sampai saat ini saya belum punya solusinya. Tapi saya sangat ingin melakukan sesuatu. Saya rasa masalah ini sudah bukan hanya sekedar masalah telat ke kantor atau bangun lebih pagi, tapi masalah penurunan kualitas hidup.

Real Life, Y U No Easy?

2012-01-11T15:00:00.005+07:00

Life gets harder after you graduate from university. Little by little, you enter a new phase of life called "real life". It's about bringing yourself to a stage of maturity, you are the one who decide what you do and where you go.

It is not easy.

It's been one and a half year since I graduated from university. The first year was not that hard since I worked in a place that I really knew, in a field that I like. The next half year (until now) is hard. Yes, I get a higher salary and it's a more stable job. But something is missing here. It's not that I don't like the job. The works are good. I learn new things. My bosses are awesome. My office mates are nice. What I do here is also related to what I learned back in university. It's just the feeling is not right.

Am I just being exaggerated?
Is it the true real life?
Or is it just I haven't found the right track?

Or maybe, it's just not the time yet. Maybe I just need to wait, ummm no, to work harder and do my best until the time when I can enjoy this new job.

My Theory of Happiness

2012-01-09T14:22:00.003+07:00

If I may build my own theory about happiness, I would say that happiness is highly correlated with the people around us.

Positive energy coming from closest people around you makes you happy.
Being together in both ups and downs moments with the people you love will make you feel complete, far from loneliness, and thus, make you happy.

That is why sharing happiness with people around you will also make you happy. Happiness is contagious. When you see other people happy, you will also be happy.

Thing you do when you are in love #1

2012-01-06T11:25:00.007+07:00

When you are in love, you might do things that you thought you wouldn't do.

I used to wonder why people would write their boyfriend's or girlfriend's name somewhere on earth. But then, I did it! Well, if you ask me why, the answer would be hard to explain :p

Here it goes, a picture I took during last holiday for my long-distance boyfriend, Syarif.

And here is another picture he took for me last year during winter in Korea.

:)

Berhati-hatilah sama orang yang pintar

2011-11-14T14:26:00.002+07:00

Kata Syarif, orang pintar itu lebih berbahaya daripada orang yang bodoh, karena orang pintar dengan ilmunya bisa mengajak orang lain ke arah yang dia inginkan. Baru-baru ini saya melihat sendiri bukti dari perkataan pacar saya itu.

Di salah satu grup blackberry messenger yang saya ikuti, salah satu teman saya bercerita dengan semangat bahwa dia mendukung Prabowo untuk menjadi capres 2014 karena dia mendengar rekomendasi ini dari seorang ulama yang ceramahnya ia hadiri. Ia bercerita tentang sosok Prabowo yang tegas, bahkan dengan bangganya ia juga menggunakan kata-kata “sadis”, yang dimana saat ini sosok pemimpin seperti itulah yang dibutuhkan di Indonesia. Teman saya yang mendukung itu juga mengungkit tentang keberpihakan Prabowo terhadap rakyat miskin. Saya diam saja mengamati perbincangan yang terjadi di grup ini, beberapa setuju karena ucapan ini bersumber dari sang ulama yang disegani, beberapa mempertanyakan apakah memang perlu Indonesia dipimpin oleh sosok yang pernah terganjal kasus pelanggaran HAM.

Akhirnya saya tidak tahan, saya bertanya, “Kalau Prabowo memang sosok yang cocok untuk memimpin Indonesia, apa bukti kehebatannya itu?” Saya bertanya lagi, “Kenapa sang ulama sampai bisa merekomendasikan dia?”

Teman saya yang pendukung itu menjawab, “Pemimpin yang bisa bikin beras murah sama BBM murah kira-kira siapa ya?”, lalu dia melanjutkan lagi, “Aku pilih Prabowo.”

Hampir saya mau menjawab, “Tau apa sih lo tentang hitung-hitungan supply demand beras dan subsidi BBM,”

Namun saya lebih memilih diam. Perbincangan berlanjut ke topik lain karena teman-teman saya ini akan mengadakan acara dalam waktu dekat. Topik pro kontra mendukung Prabowo pun menghilang begitu saja.

Yang berkesan bagi saya adalah bagaimana teman saya ini bisa sangat terpengaruh menjadi pendukung Prabowo setelah ia diberikan pesan demikian oleh ulama yang ia segani, dan bagaimana beberapa teman saya yang lain pun menjadi setuju karenanya.

Mendengarkan orang pintar itu memang harus berhati-hati, apalagi menjadi orang yang pintar. Entah sudah berapa banyak orang yang terbawa ke arah yang tidak seharusnya karena mendengarkan saran yang kurang bijak dari orang pintar yang disegani.

Are you tired of this country? Sometimes I am

2011-10-20T16:19:00.002+07:00

News about cabinet reshuffle has been there in the media for around one month, and although the result of the reshuffle is there, the critics about it is not yet finished. To be honest, I am one of them who keeps on criticizing about the President’s decision and his reason behind this reshuffle.

When the result of the reshuffle was announced, at the beginning I was surprised with the result but only few minutes later, I tried to make myself understand with the President’s decison. Sorry to say this, Mr. President, but I understand that you are not strong enough to take a big leap to lead this country to be a better nation. I think you are weak.

Sometimes I wish I was wrong. I wish that his “not understandable” decisions might be just look bad at the beginning, but it will bring good result at the end. But now, I’m tired of being that optimist.

Currently I’m working as an analyst and I’m keeping myself updated with what’s happening on the global world. We all know that crisis is striking US & Europe, it’s just a matter of time that the crisis will arrive here in Indonesia. Does the President care with this issue? Well, I don’t see anything is happening to prepare us for the crisis. He was too busy reshuffling his cabinet, fulfilling all those political parties interest to save his popularity among those parties.

If in the past I still put hopes on the President to bring this country into a better nation, now I don’t. I think now it depends to the people of the country itself, what they can do to bring the country to a better direction.

I think it will need its own innovation & effort of the business people if they want their business to be success.
It depends on the creativity of the youth themselves, if they want to contribute to the nation.
It depends on the effort on every individuals if they want to live comfortably, wealthy, and healthy.

It is so difficult to rely on the country leaders to make yourself live comfortable in this country.

But anyway, I still wish I was wrong.

In the middle of searching for the right path

2011-10-18T13:36:00.003+07:00

Sometimes, something that you enjoy doing is not something that you are good at
Or that thing that you enjoy can also be not good for you
While sometimes, something that you want to do is not the thing that you are good at

How to know if you are already in the right path or not?

Mudik to Palembang!

2011-09-05T09:07:00.007+07:00

Just arrived from Palembang last night after celebrating Lebaran Idul Fitri with my big, no, HUGE family. I just realized that I have 45 cousins from my mom side and 26 cousins from my dad side. With my 22 uncles & aunts from both sides, their husbands & wives, their children's spouses, and more, I was like "WOWWW"! :D

Going back there after 3 years was wonderful. Everybody said we could gather again in the next lebaran in Palembang or, one day in my wedding. Haha.

So here are the pictures of the food I love and a glimpse of my big family:

Kue Lapis Palembang & Kue Delapan Jam

Nasi Kebuli with Beef, Egg, Pickles, & Pineapple

Model

Pempek + Cuka & Durian

Special Food on Lebaran:
Ketupat, Kuah Sayur, Rendang, Sambel Cengek Udang, Kerupuk, & Cake

Pempek Lenggang

Kue Satu Asem

Abib

Jidda

Me with my sister, Alawiyah (on the right side) & my cousins from my dad side

Me with Afifah, my youngest sister (the one with blue shirt) and my pretty & cute younger cousins from my mom side

My New Perspective of Time Management

2011-08-23T11:25:00.004+07:00

Time management has never been easy. There was a time when I was asked to facilitate an AIESEC Indonesia National Conference to deliver a session about time management. To be honest, I had no idea what to deliver other than sharing. If people say the best way to learn is by practicing and learning from failure, then I think that is the only way we can find how to manage our time well.

I have always been occupied by the term of "Time Management" with managing my activities, mostly in daily and monthly basis. It's about achieving certain target, doing many things at certain moment with good result, keeping good relationship with people around, and staying fit & healthy. Few days ago I just realized, there is more beyond that.

Time.
In daily basis, we always know we only have 24 hours.
In a week, there is only 2 days of holiday and others are working day.
In a month, there is certain target or schedule we should do.
In a year, we know some bigger change happen in our life, maybe going to higher grade at school, graduating, getting a job, or any others.
In 5, 10, 0r 20 years, some people put target to picture themselves, where they want to be in next 5 years.
What about beyond death? Do we have plan for ourselves, what and where we want to be?
And we never know when we are going to die. Planning for life after death is a lot more complicated than planning for life in 5, 10, or 20 years. It's about planning for a time we don't know.

It came across my mind when last week, I heard news that one of my elementary school friends and one of my students in University passed away. I went through my student's blog yesterday. I was wondering if there were some signs before someone die. No, I could not find anything. He did not even put timestamp in his blog so I didn't know when he put his last post. But I found this in his blog profile:

Ini adalah blog seorang pemuda yang mempunyai visi membuat bangsa Indonesia menjadi bangsa yang besar, bangsa yang hebat, sejajar dengan bangsa2 besar lainnya. Menjadi Entrepreneur adalah salah satu misi yang harus dilakukan dalam rangka mewujudkan visi tersebut.

Reading his dream was enough to freeze me for a while. Usual words came across my mind, umur memang ga ada yang tau ya, but it has deeper meaning. We never know when we are about to die, we put our dream high. But, is it high enough to prepare us for another life after death?

It also made me reflect, time management is not only about managing time for daily, monthly, yearly, or more activities to achieve your life dream, but also managing time well to be balance in life here and life hereafter.

The Rule of One Day

2011-08-22T08:43:00.002+07:00

I think there's a "rule of one day" for me. It always takes one long painful day to recover after something happen and on the next day, I will be fine.

2011-08-15T12:58:00.003+07:00

I say too much sorry
too much thank you

and I am too much stupid

:(

2011-08-15T12:54:00.002+07:00

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

semangat, syarif!

2011-05-18T20:35:00.003+07:00

this post is dedicated for Syarif Husein

semangat researchnyaa
semangat bikin manuscriptnyaaa
semangat ngurus semua hal buat visa dan persiapan berangkat ke spain

semangat semua muanya sampe lulus dan abis itu pulaaaaaang :D

I know, and always know, you will do great :)

My name in google!

2011-05-18T13:39:00.004+07:00

Several days ago, I typed my name in google search engine. Everyone does it, right? :p
Before I finished typing my full name, it appeared on the fourth list!
Awesome! O yeah, I am proud. Haha.

Self healing of bad mood

2011-05-16T19:48:00.003+07:00

Yesterday, I spent my whole day at home, doing nothing. Nothing productive except editing my CV and pimping it up to look better.

I was in a point where I was controlled by my unstable emotion and my pessimist thought. I did not even want to know any updates from anyone, I signed out my twitter and facebook account in my blackberry and did not check my blackberry messenger. I did not have any credits in my mobile either. If I had had my mobile credits, I had been calling Syarif to spill out all my emotion and cried. But anyway, he had to work on his research, so I did not have chance to call him, not even chatting. So there I was, trying to wake myself up from all the negative atmosphere which I created by myself.

All in my mind was...
I wanted to go shopping, bought anything I could just to make myself happy. Well, luckily, there was no car at home and I did not want to dress up and go out.
I wanted to sleep. But I could not.
I wanted to buy credits as much as possible and called Syarif all day long. But it was raining soooooo hard that I could not ask my maid to buy mobile credits for me.

What I thought was all to spend money to (or to try to) buy happiness. But instead, I was just reading a novel and watching Korea drama movie. Until it was around 4 pm when the rain stopped, I decided to go to saloon, just to have a hair spa, to relax myself. I went there and the saloon was soooooooooooooo full that I should wait for around 2 hours if I wanted to have the hair spa. In my mind, I was so angry but I tried to be cool. I told them I would wait. I sat there for 15 minutes and the lady said if I wanted to have my hair cut, there's one person who could do it for me, and I said.. ok, I don't need hair spa, just a hair cut.
Random? Yes, I just wanted to do something in that day which I thought I could do to buy that happiness.

Then I came home, still not feeling better.

I sat in my bedroom. I wanted to call Syarif. Wanted to throw all my negative feelings, I knew he could make me feel a lot better but I forgot to buy mobile credits.

So I tried to heal myself. I asked, what would Syarif say if I told him I was not in a good mood. I knew! Syarif would say...
"Don't focus on your problem. Think of what you can do to make everything goes better"
So I thought...
What makes myself so annoyed? I could not join my team bonding.
So what can I do next? I will join any trip they will have in the next day and I know that they are my friends, they won't blame me for not coming.

Then slowly, I gained my spirit. I tried to be more relax, I had ice cream, I bought mobile credits, I called Syarif (who was still doing his research, but anyway, it's good to hear from him, and I did not call to complain!! :D )

Now I understand this quote:
Control your emotion or it will control you

and..

Money does not buy happiness

:)

CV is sent!

2011-05-16T19:44:00.003+07:00

For the first time in my life, I sent a CV to a company, besides AIESEC.

If everything goes well, I won't need to send my CV again to other company. I am excited to start a new adventure. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim :)

Be strong

2011-03-30T14:48:00.002+07:00

I will learn and try to be more patient, to be more caring, to listen to people more, not to get sick easily, not to think of problems too much, to be stronger.

I used to be stronger than I am right now.

Be strong. Be strong. Be strong.

Quoting from HJ's DeviantART

2011-03-03T14:59:00.003+07:00

Browsing around, ended up here: http://hjstory.deviantart.com/

The author wrote an article titled "Patience"

I think over the many years of dating and break-ups, if there’s anything I learnt about loving someone and being in a relationship, it’s patience.

It’s not about how sweet you can be, how much gifts you give, or even how much you’re willing to do for your loved one. It’s about how patient and understanding you can be when things aren’t going right, when someone does something that makes you angry, sad, or hurt.

If I think over every single argument I’ve had in the past, and the break ups, most of the time, if only one side could be more patient and understanding, everything could’ve been prevented.

It’s actually really easy to treat someone nicely, it’s easy to do a lot of sweet things for someone, it’s easy to shower someone with love and gifts. But it’s so hard, so hard, to be understanding and patient when things aren’t going the way you want. It took me so many years to try to learn this, and even now I can’t say it’s easy, but I know I’m trying.

In this relationship, I lose in almost every argument I have with my girlfriend. Not because I have no sense of principle or opinion. It’s because I think that for almost every argument, it’s not really important who wins, deep inside, most of us all know what’s right and wrong. It’s just at the heat of the moment, we become stubborn, or we let our emotions take over our logic and we argue. In the past, every time I win an argument, after it’s all over, I know deep inside who was right and who was wrong. If you care and love someone, try to just let little meaningless things go, sometimes even let the big things slide... just a piece of my mind

I Miss You So Bad

2010-12-08T19:46:00.001+07:00

An old unpublished post

2010-11-09T16:29:00.000+07:00

I was browsing around my draft files in this blog and I found this unpublished post. I remember, this post was not published not because it was not finished or because I needed to off and forgot to publish it, but because I was afraid of being too confident and just waited for the right time to post.

It was written on July 11th, 2010 and now here it comes, the right moment to post it :)
------------------

Thanks a lot, my (maybe I can call you) partner!

thanks a lot for being so wise and helpful

thanks a lot for being a good listener and a good adviser at the same time

thanks a lot for always being there :)

and we call each other, S

Amazing you, create an amazing life

2010-11-08T16:55:00.005+07:00

Sunday.
Started with fight.
Ended with smiles, hugs, and love.
I mean, big smiles, hugs, and love.

Monday, this afternoon, on my way back to office after lunch, I had these questions in my mind. So once I arrived in office, I chatted and asked him,
"How can people feel happy when they have someone to love?
How can two people who were totally stranger can be very close?
Isn't it amazing?"

He answered with smile and said,
"You are..
amazing :) "

I smiled back and said,
"Why me?
It's the way how things work is amazing."

and we just smiled :)

trying to wrap us up

2010-11-06T17:27:00.002+07:00

fights
tears
complaints
anxiety
missing feeling
worry
wait
hope
togetherness
laugh
smile
jokes
comfort
safe
love
you
us

It's all about people

2010-11-01T16:15:00.003+07:00

I love doing meeting.
Listening to people ideas, sharing my ideas, brainstorming, discussing, getting to know what's in people's mind and why they can think that way are so much interesting.

Inspiration always come from people.

It's the people, who matter.

I still love Bahasa, though

2010-10-27T17:17:00.001+07:00

I use English not because I'm not a nationalist or because I want to look cool.

It's just so I can have more people understand my writings.

It, You, and Them

2010-10-26T18:01:00.004+07:00

I don't understand it
I don't understand you
I don't understand them

Should I just go?
or should I wait?

I'm totally tired
with what it wants
with what you want
with what they want

I miss it
I miss you
I miss them

As much as
I need it
I need you
I need them

I also love it
I love you
I love them

I just need more time with it
with you
and with them

Oh crap, life is not easy

Indonesia, the real one and the another one as an AIESEC entity

2010-08-21T17:29:00.004+07:00

Reading news and articles about how the nationalism politicians and some economists in Indonesia blaming on globalization makes me sometimes think : are we afraid of competition?

I'm now in my 4th year in AIESEC, representing Indonesia, competing with other 106 countries and in these late 3 years, we are competitive enough to be recognized by the global network. I guess, AIESEC members should have more awareness to Indonesia, thanks to our hardwork to deliver more impact by delivering more and more exchange through AIESEC.
Just checked the statistics of AIESEC performance globally, AIESEC Indonesia is now on 10th rank for delivering number of exchange, out of 107 countries in the network.

Do you know why? Because we do plan well, think of synergizing all entities in AIESEC Indonesia, work hard, and play hard.

We always say in AIESEC: INDONESIA BISA, to prove to other countries in AIESEC network that Indonesia is really BISA beating other countries, competing with other youth and delivering more impact.

Now I'm asking back to my country, is Indonesia really BISA?

I want IC India!!!

2010-08-08T14:27:00.003+07:00

I want to go to IC India so bad :(

IC, stands for International Congress, is the biggest AIESEC conference, held annually for leaders of AIESEC. The profile of the delegates who can join IC are LCP (President of an AIESEC Local Committee), MC member (member of AIESEC National Committee, can be the President, Vice President, or the Manager), and of course AIESEC International member.

August last year, I joined IC Malaysia. The network that I got from last IC was soooooooo huge. It was a conference with almost 600 delegates coming from 107 countries. It was not just about the network, but more than that, it's what I get out of the network. The knowledge, the perspective, the friendship, and how it shaped me to see world with different view.
It makes me addicted to international atmosphere.

This August, IC will be held in India but I'm not going since I'm gonna have my graduation ceremony on the same dates with IC. I was ok at the beginning, but now when it comes closer to the D-Day of IC, receiving emails from friends around the world asking whether I'm going to IC or not, receiving invitations to have country meetings, seeing my partners working on their visa to India, chatting with my friends whom I met in last IC and knowing that they're going to India makes me JEALOUS.

Oh, I want to go to IC so bad.

Seru, lalu selesai

2010-07-20T17:40:00.002+07:00

Bagian yang paling seru dari kisah penangkapan penjahat adalah saat proses pencarian, penyelidikan, dan perburuan penjahat. Saat sudah tertangkap, berakhirlah kisah serunya.

Fiuh.

.

.

I love July!

2010-07-16T11:57:00.002+07:00

I love this July :)

Passed the undergrad thesis defense...

Get back to AIESEC works in AIESEC Indonesia...

Get to know more people...

Good friends...

Literally get many support and help...

and S! :p

1 day before undergrad thesis defense

2010-07-04T11:20:00.003+07:00

Today is July 4th, 2010. It's one day before my undergraduate thesis defense day or we call it "Sidang Skripsi" in Bahasa Indonesia.

Tomorrow is the day, when the thesis that I've been working on for this past 5 months will be explored by 3 lecturers.

The words that describe my feelings best now are:

Nervous.

Scared.

Anxious.

Excited.

I wish everything go well and smooth.

I wish I can defend my thesis with confidence.

I wish I can make my parents proud of me.

I wish myself all the best.

and thanks a lot to everyone for wishing me the best, I can't thank you enough.

It's Difficult For You to Fall in Love

2010-06-27T13:27:00.000+07:00

Wow, interesting fact :p

It's Difficult For You to Fall in Love

Looking back on your life, you will only have one true love.

Although you may have been hurt before, you tend to bring very little scars into new relationships.

It's important to you that your lover is very attractive. You like to have someone to show off.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

http://blogthings.com/yourlovelifesecretsrevealedquiz/

mau punya twitter tp beli blackberry dulu

2010-06-24T14:49:00.002+07:00

Bokap gw, yg dulu kecil mengajarkan gw pake internet, ngajarin gw chatting, menyarankan gw punya blog, dan ngajarin gw browsing ternyata tadi ngirain twitter gunanya cuma untuk ngobrol. Trus tadi gw jelasin bahwa twitter sebenernya untuk berbagi informasi dan gw follow kuliah tentang Bung Karno dari Goenawan Mohamad dan berbagai orang-orang hebat lainnya di twitter sehingga gw dpt informasi yg up to date.

Bokap : Mereka pada update twitter dari Blackberry ya?

Gw : Kebanyakan sih gitu..

Bokap : Ok, I will try to buy one

Gw: ...

Oh betapa enaknya jadi bokap gw yg pengen punya twitter tapi mau beli Blackberry dulu. haha.

Anyway, I love your style, Dad! *hugs

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T20:57:00.003+07:00

I just knew it from twitter that today is world's father's day from twitter when I read people are twitting about it.

I will just put my wish for my dad here instead of twitting it, because 140 characters won't be enough to put my wish..

Dear Aba,

I wish you a happy and blessed life. It wraps all my wish for you.

I remember when I was a kid, you told me to have a dream, so I asked you back what your dream was, and you answered, "My dream is to live happily with all our family here and hereafter". That answer is always here in my mind and I think I will always remember it.

I love you so much, my dear Dad.

Hugs and kisses.

Shirin

Skripsi, kehidupan, dan segala emosi di sekitarnya (lagi)

2010-06-10T15:48:00.004+07:00

Saat ini gw punya berbagai aspek kehidupan yang perlu dikelola...

skripsi,
pekerjaan,
organisasi,
keluarga,
sahabat,
teman dekat,
dan diri sendiri.

Di saat semuanya tampak tidak seimbang dan hampir mengubur diri gw,
sehingga hal yang paling gw inginkan adalah tidur, meninggalkan semuanya mengalir sendiri di kehidupan nyata, dan tidak memikirikan apa nantinya yang akan terjadi saat gw bangun...

gw merasa bahwa gw udah kalah.

Iya gw tau, tulisan ini memang bernuansa sangat negatif. Tapi, ga sampe gw pengen pergi meninggalkan semuanya koq. Cuma pengen tidur aja, tidur dan meninggalkan dunia nyata sebentar. Walaupun gw tau, saat gw bangun, semuanya ga akan begitu saja jadi lebih baik.

Skripsi dan emosi di sekitarnya

2010-06-07T00:35:00.003+07:00

Ok, sekarang gw takut.

Takut skripsi gw ga selesai pd waktunya.

Takut ga bisa sidang.

Takut karena kenapa skripsi gw ini ternyata susah, ternyata revisi terus, ternyata harus ditambahin terus, ternyata belum selesai sampai sekarang.

Kenapa takut? Entah. Tapi intinya, it takes my mind the most now. I just can not get away from this feeling.

anggap aja ini twitter

2010-05-23T23:09:00.001+07:00

11.09 pm

mau tidur tapi merasa bersalah kalo tidur cepet
mau ngerjain skripsi juga udah mentok

huuuuufh

People are DIFFERENT

2010-05-22T21:38:00.002+07:00

When you invent new technology, become rich, or people say you are smart; you think you are the best on earth. When you talk about democracy, you would think that your democracy style is ythe best; you think that people should do it in that way. When you talk about respect; you want people to respect you with your way.

I’m telling you it’s not right. It's tiring to see how people want each other to behave or to do the same thing like you do, to think the same thing like you think. It is happening now and it makes me tired.

-----------------

I just watched Oprah Winfrey Show and there was an exclusive report of Oprah’s research on FYZ Ranch. People used to say that FYZ Ranch is a kind of sect, where people there are very religious in their own way with also their own way of living. It is a community in USA in which they live separately from other people. In this community, they have their own schools for children, their own farms, manufactures, economy lives, and culture. They believe that their life is to search peace upon God. It looks like a sect in Christian for me, but a little bit different with the Christian that I usually see.

There was a time when US government invaded this community and arrested their men & children because the government said this FYZ Ranch was prohibiting laws. The men there got married with under-aged girls, men there had more than 1 wife, and the children there went to farm for work. (It was interesting when Oprah asked the children whether they liked to play or not, they said they liked to play, because it's productive. They didn't know mickey mouse, they didn't know cinderella, shrek, or little mermaid. They didn't watch TV!) For investigation, the girls were taken to the police and being interrogated on what the men did to them, mostly the interrogation was about under-aged marriage. It appeared in the show, when Oprah interviewed the girls about it, that these girls did not see it as problem, and they asked why outsider people cared about this. Oprah also interviewed three women who were married to one same man. They were asked how they could handle their life, sharing their husband with other women, taking care of the other women’s children, and living under the same roof. The interesting part was when I hear one of the women said, “Living a life like this, sharing your life with other women, makes you understand yourself more, that when you feel jealous it means you are not good enough,..” they said that there were looking for God’s bless in their life, that living life with sincerity brings them happiness. They are happy with their life, living it with their belief.

Don’t you see so? People are different with their own way. They can live with their own belief and find peace with their own way.

Some people find peace by using veils, some others by doing meditation, some others by living separately in a high mountain or far away in the forest. Some other people use the things that they believe can bring spiritual peace like traditional necklace, rings, earrings, or other kind of charms. Some other people don’t get married, some others get married in young age. Some other people believe that voicing out opinion is good for them and brings peace, some others believe on their leader and just listen. Some people don’t eat meat, some people do. Some people go to another part of earth to find peace, some people just stay at home. Some people pray, some people don’t. Some people believe in God, some others don't.

What’s wrong with the differences? Nothing. It’s just there.

When most of the people do something, does it mean that when you see few others doing something different, you have to make them go with you? No.

When you think that eating meat is healthy, do you have to make all people eat meat with you? No.

People are different. I know that sometimes, we believe that we are doing something that is good not just for us, but also for others. It makes us want others to do that thing as well. But you know what, better you go see first and find out why those few other people are doing what they do. If they are not disturbing you, then why should you go bothering them?

Don’t ever criticize if you don’t understand.

Difference is there. You know it. It’s your job to find out why.
Yes, it's your job too to take other people toward peace. But please listen to people first, before you go.

Saya dan kacamata kuda

2010-05-19T23:32:00.003+07:00

Berharap dengan menggunakan kacamata kuda bisa mengantarkan ke sana
Walaupun tetap belum bisa memaksamu untuk menggunakan kacamata yang sama

Tapi tahukah kamu,
Saya benar-benar menggunakan kacamata ini
Walaupun orang-orang berusaha merayu saya untuk melepasnya

Saya terlalu merasa aman dengan ini
Walaupun saya tak tahu apakah saya akan tiba disana

Saya tak peduli
Saya tetap memilih untuk menutup mata, telinga, dan hati
Yang hanya terbuka bila rayuan dapat mengantar saya kesana

Untuk saat ini hanya kacamata kuda itu asesoris yang bisa saya pakai
Saya masih tak peduli

Dear my dearest minister...

2010-05-12T23:32:00.004+07:00

Dear Ibu Sri Mulyani,

the first time I read a news about your resignation, I was very surprised
I was that surprised until I almost had my tears on my face. I love you so much and I trust you so much. It might be the best decision for you and for this nation, still it makes me sad.

the first time I met you was when I had introductory to macroeconomics class, in my 2nd semester in FEUI, around 3 years ago.
It was Saturday morning. If it had not been you, I would not have attended the class. You were late, but I didn't care, simply because it was you who were teaching.

I remember how you asked each of the student whether their parents already paid their taxes or not, how you taught us about velocity of money, when you asked from which high school we were form (yes, you asked each of us), you commented on our style, and many things.

You told us about how you felt on people's opinion on you, that people said you were so close to IMF and people don't like it, about why you decided to import rice, why Indonesia needed to have more debt, and many things. You confirm the doubt, you confirm people's opinion.

There was a time when you were teaching, you had to receive a call in the middle of the class because it was from Mr. President. Apparently, at the end of the phone call, Mr. President sent greetings to the whole class which made the students proud of themselves.

It was the first meetings.

I did not have more chances to meet you but I keep myself updated about you. Those political problems that you faced made me sick of the politicians.

I am so sad to know you are leaving this country, resign from your minister position. Your new position in World Bank surely a position which makes this nation proud of you even more. But leaving this country makes this nation sad at the same time.

I wish you a very good luck for your whole life, my dear lecturer.

I wish you all the best.

Takut

2010-04-24T10:46:00.002+07:00

Takut itu wajar kan?

Takut tidak bisa mengikuti perputaran roda.
Takut tidak bisa setegar karang.
Takut kehilangan.

This life is so damn good

2010-04-24T01:18:00.004+07:00

Started to work on my new job already, trying damn hard to finish my thesis, trying hard to fulfill my role as an LCP, and struggling super hard to balance my life.

This is so damn good, right? ;)

with full of spirit,

Shirin

Sorry, I just want to throw this away

2010-04-20T00:24:00.002+07:00

Currently, I don't like these words:

Tired
Wait
Bored
Lazy
Hate
I don't know
Who are you?
I don't believe you/it/them

It's just too frustrating to hear those words now.
I'm stronger than what you think.

This is not me

2010-04-12T23:28:00.003+07:00

Totally tired.
Sleepy.
Scared.
and waiting for the basket game to finish soon.

11.38 pm, in the middle of meeting.

Get a JOB!

2010-04-10T20:19:00.002+07:00

I got a job already!!!

I know what I'll be doing after I graduate!!

I am now...

Vice President of Outgoing Exchange of AIESEC in Indonesia

never heard about this kind of job before? Ok, I'll explain it...

AIESEC is the world's largest youth organization, which is aiming to develop youth leadership through exchange activities. We send youth all around the world to different countries, so they can have internship experience in another country. We want to make this youth to be more socially responsible, active learner, have more entrepreneurial skill, and become more culturally sensitive. We believe by giving international experiences to young people, they can have that 4 characteristics which later will make them become change agents to give positive impact to their society. AIESEC exists in 107 countries, one of them is in Indonesia. In Indonesia itself, we have 6 Local Committees with 1 National Office as the governance body (check: www.aiesec.org or www.aiesec.org/indonesia or www.aiesecui.org).

So, I am just selected to be one of the Executive Boards of AIESEC Indonesia. My position is mainly responsible for managing the department which does the market research, market segmentation, promotion to student market about exchange program of AIESEC, sending youth to other countries, maintaining cooperation with other countries where we send Indonesian youth to, controlling the quality of this exchange program, and leading 6 different LCs in 6 different cities on this outgoing exchange department.

In "finishing-my-thesis-asap" mood so I can start focusing on my new job earlier :)

Me & Myself : Give it a try

2010-04-07T19:43:00.002+07:00

Me : Why are you waiting?
Myself: I don't know
Me : Then, why don't we just go?
Myself: I don't have the courage
Me : When will you have it?
Myself: I won't
Me : So?
Myself : I told you, I don't know. I will just wait until the time is right.
Me : The right time will never come, my dear. Just go. You will have the courage once you are there.
Myself : But, what if because I am going now, it makes me not getting it?
Me : But, at least you try, right?
Myself: No, I don't want to TRY! I want to HAVE it!
Me : Now I ask you. HOW?
Myself: I don't know
Me : Don't be stupid
Myself : ...
Me : Let me ask you something. What will happen if after you try, you don't get it?
Myself : I will be veeeery sad
Me : And?
Myself : Maybe that's it
Me : And what if you don't do it, and at the end you don't get it either?
Myself : I will be very sad, too
Me : So, let's just try, right? That's what is called : nothing to loose. Well, if at the end it turns out bad and you don't get it, it's ok. You already give a shot.
Myself : ...
Me : So, I'm going now. Are you in?
Myself : Well, ok...
Me : Don't worry, my dear.

I am wondering how it will end

2010-04-03T18:00:00.002+07:00

You just simply don't understand
or maybe...
I do not want to understand you

Anyway, I hate if one of those is true

You make me tired
I make you tired

Both of us are just dumb.

MCP Election & MCVP Interview

2010-04-03T14:11:00.002+07:00

I had MCP Election 4 days ago, on March 30th, 2010. It was a virtual election so we used skype to connect the candidates, current MC team, and LCEB from 6 LCs across Indonesia.

It was challenging. It was tough. It enriched myself, personally & professionally.
I'm not that good in ensuring people through typing chat. I need to learn this one kind of communication skill, I guess.

And well, I don't get the MCP position. I was not elected. The one who is now MCP elect is Ika, she was LCP of Universitas Andalas last term. She is good. She is smart. She is nice. She is adorable.
Simply, she is the best who deserves this MCP position.

I am happy for her, I am happy for AIESEC in Indonesia.
At the same time, I am happy for myself.

and today, I just had interview for MCVP OGX Candidate. It was around one and a half hour.
It was again, challenging and tough.

The announcement is next Monday, two days from now.

Let's see how it turns out on Monday...

Had SG Panel today!

2010-03-28T17:38:00.003+07:00

Just had SG Panel today!

SG (Supervisory Group) Panel is one part of the election process of MCP AIESEC Indonesia. After submitting application package, the MCP Candidate will be interviewed by Supervisory Group of AIESEC Indonesia.
I had 3 people from SG who interviewed me today.
It was a great chance to present my ideas to these people.

Before SG Panel, I sent message to some of my friends, saying I was quite nervous. They replied back and gave me tips on how not to be nervous & wishing me the best. It was really nice :)

But I had my favorite message reply, saying:
It's normal if you feel nervous, so this moment will be memorable for you. Anyway, wish everything will go fine.

After the SG Panel finished, I sent SMS to several people saying that finally I had my SG Panel done & I did my best there.

My friend who sent the previous message replied:
Congratulations! Whatever the result will be, I wish you all the best.

Well, yes, that's true. Whatever the result will be, wish it'll be the best for all.

Maybe it's only me who understand what this post is about

2010-03-22T13:58:00.003+07:00

Today, I took angkot (this is how we call public transport in Indonesia) on my way to campus. For me, taking angkot is a good way of self reflection. It's how I can keep in touch to people around, seeing the reality on the street, feeling it, analyzing world and people around me, and enjoying God's creation, the world, which I see as the masterpiece of art.

Too melancolic? Yes, sometimes I am.

I sat in the front seat, next to the angkot driver. It was a shiny morning (or afternoon? It was around 10 am). I enjoyed every second of it. The angkot driver was driving slowly, looked like he was thinking of something that took half of his mind. People could not force him to drive faster, it's his freedom to set the velocity of the car, it's his angkot.

On the way, I saw a lady waiting for another angkot with her beautiful blouse in a very hot day, a beggar sitting on the road, a seller sitting in his small store, a couple who I thought they were fighting somewhere on the street (somehow I heard that the girl said she was angry with the boy). I saw clothes were hanging on the 2nd floor of houses, different color of houses, different color of clothes people use, different faces of people which never look same. I saw different jobs people have, some people sell newspapers, some others sell mobile credits, some others cleaning the road, driving angkot, driving ojek, security officer, and hundreds of different jobs.

It was the time when I felt life is amazing. This world is amazing. God is even much more amazing.
People are different, each of us keeps this world run in balance, with all the differences we have.

Now I confuse the point that I want to stress out in this post, but anyway because of my angkot trip to campus this morning, I realize that this life is a piece of art. With all the differences, with all the realities, with God as the creator, and people as the actor.

What act do you play in this big art performance? You decide, you act.

please wish me luck

2010-03-21T23:20:00.003+07:00

Dear you, the one who is now reading this post,

can you please do me a favor?
I am currently in the process of applying for MCP of AIESEC Indonesia. MCP stands for Member Committee President, which means President of AIESEC Indonesia.
Please wish me luck for this application, for the whole processes I'll be going through.

If this position is a good thing for me, for people around me, and for AIESEC, please wish me a good luck and wish me elected.
If it's not, then wish the best for AIESEC Indonesia, and I'll still be applying for another position, still in AIESEC :)

I just uploaded a video for my MCP application. I'm not really good in making video and people are now having midterm exams, so it's not the time when I can ask help to my friends. This video is really fully my self-made.
Just take a look: http://www.youtube.com/user/shirinzahro?feature=mhw5#p/a/u/0/ETPu41Nhcok

Wish me luck!!

An Egoist who Won't Confess

2010-03-21T12:47:00.004+07:00

Ok, ok.
I miss you.
That's it.

Well, but...
Ok, no.
It's not "that" feeling.
It's just..
just...
I don't know what.

Enough. Don't ask more.

Trip Plan!

2010-03-14T21:55:00.002+07:00

Wooohooo, a trip to Palembang this weekend is on the list!
Surabaya is for this May.
Hopefully May will also be for Malaysia.
India is for August! (Hopefully...)

all of them are for replacing Taiwan that should've been for this month!

Go, go, travelling!! :)

My Cousin and A Book

2010-03-04T22:30:00.004+07:00

Someone has just bought me a very good book titled "Eat, Pray, Love" written by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was my cousin who bought it for me. We were having a day out one day before his departure back overseas after spending almost three weeks here for his sister's marriage. He bought me that book because he read on the cover that this book is telling a story about a woman's search for everything. He directly took the book, gave it to me, and said it was a very suitable book for me to read because he knew I was searching for EVERYTHING. I said, "No, I don't want to buy a book now," (it means, I don't prepare any money to buy a book now) and he said, "No, I buy this for you," and I did not say no at all. I was like, "Oh my GOD. Really?? Thanks so much!" and did not stop saying thanks for the book until the last phone call we made before his flight back.

This book is so damn good, funny, and brings inspiration at the same time. The story is about a journey of a woman after divorcing from her husband and how she searched for peace in her life.
This book is SO GOOD. Until today, I have read only around first 150 pages of its more than 300 pages but I got many thoughts of myself out of it.

One of the parts that I remember is: everything has its own name. Like for example, Rome's (yes, a city in Italy) name is Sex, New York's name is Achieve, Vatican's name is Power, Stockholm's name is Conform, and sort of the things. At one point, the author is asked "So, what is your name?" and she could not answer it. It made me think, "What is my name, by the way?"

Another thing from the book is how the author tells her journey. It's divided into 3 different places she went when searching for her "peace life": Italy, India, and Indonesia.
My reading until now hasn't reached even the India part, it's still telling about her journey in Italy, which represents the "Eat" part of the book.
It makes me really really really really want to go to Italy. really. really really want to go there. Now Italy is on my to-go-list before I die. I hope I can be there in my age of 28. (why 28? don't know, just thinking that 30 is too old to experience the whole country of Italy and 28 just sounds perfect).

Today, I read that book on my way to campus, during my sitting in class although I was sitting right next to my lecturer, and while I was waiting for my teaching class to begin. This book is really taking my day. Also, everytime I got something out of it, I would remember my dear cousin for buying me this book. (Gosh, you really have my heart because you bought me book! Yes dear, not because of the free lunch, free dinner, shopping, or driving me home. Book is the thing).

just a quick update (you can skip this post)

2010-03-03T21:09:00.002+07:00

I think the good things of writing in a blog are you don't need to worry that there are that many people read it like if you write notes in facebook (I mean, as far as I know, my friends who could be teasing or just playing around with the words I wrote is there on facebook but don't care on my blog), you can update anything about yourself as if there are people who are waiting for it without anyone protesting on it (maybe when someone reads it, he will just skip that kind of post), you can say any of your opinion, you can write as short as you want or as long as you can, and many many other things.

and now, i just want to write a bit update of myself today:

Just had a very good day with my cousin. Had a delicious lunch (for free! well, half free), continued with shopping-time (not for me though, but it was good to see how quick a man decided to buy something), cigar-choosing-advises, got a book which was really gooood, coffee-time, and good talks all the day.

Simply a good day.

Ractifying old post

2010-03-02T11:11:00.002+07:00

I did a mistake when I posted my blog titled "My First Journey on My First Thesis Adviser Meeting". I wrote there that my thesis adviser, Pak Lepi, is 63 years old.

In fact, he is 10 years older than that, he is now 73 years old :)

I wish you blessed life, Pak Lepi. I adore your intelligence and dedication to this country and this world.
(It is not his birthday, though. But I just love him so much as my thesis adviser).

A Conversation about Marriage

2010-03-02T10:51:00.003+07:00

Yesterday, I had a long long conversation with my cousin. Long time not seeing each other brought us into deep conversations about many things. I like to talk a lot, so does he, so there we were, two young people, who liked to chat, talking about many things. I guess if he did not have to go, we would be talking until late at night.

My cousin is now studying theology in one of best universities in the world. Somehow, I saw him now as a more religious person and has deeper analysis on life things. Yet, it made me even more interested to talk about many things with him.

One interesting topic that we talked about was about life and marriage. When we came to this marriage topic, we were at two different realities. He is now in a stage where he's trying to convince his parents on a girl that he believes can be a good wife for his future, while his parents just want him to focus on his study and not thinking about marriage now. While me, at the same time, is not even thinking of having someone who I'll share part of my life with. Currently, my focus just goes to my academic, career development, and self actualization.

I was surprised to know he is that serious to have that kind of serious relationship with his girlfriend and maybe he was surprised to know I'm not thinking about having it yet. I am a girl, he is a two-year-older boy and we are thinking at different ways which usually girls on my age are thinking of what he thinks and boys on his age are usually thinking of what I think.

Well however, we came up with one conclusion that there is no too young or too old for getting married. It's about how mentally ready you are to enter a new life and share it with someone for the rest of your life. A very young girl can be mature enough to have it and an old guy can be so childish and egoist that he is not ready to share his life with someone else.

A Good Leader & A successor

2010-02-28T11:48:00.003+07:00

Exactly on the day before yesterday, one day before LCP Election of AIESEC UI 2010/2010, I was talking with my dad about leadership. He referred a good leader to the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh).

He told me that a good leader has to have 3 things:
- Big vision
The vision is not only for the sake of himself, but also for the sake of all human being in the world. Prophet Muhammad came not only to bring peace to Arab people, but he had vision to bring peace to all human being in the world. At that time, it's very rare that people have that kind of big vision. There was no sophisticated technology, but it's not the thing for the Prophet.

- The eagerness, readiness and courage to make changes and do them
Sometimes, people know what to do if they want to be success. But, they simply don't do it. Eagerness is not the only thing needed, it's the courage to do the thing you know you have to do is more important.

- A successor which can help him to achieve his big vision
Prophet Muhammad, left his legacy to Imam Ali, who later gave the legacy of leading Islam to other Imams in his family. Vision of the Prophet of bringing Islam to the whole world is achieved because the Prophet could leave legacy and have successor who kept continuing his spirit.

Yesterday, we had LCP Election in AIESEC LCUI. The candidate was only Pamung, currently LCVP External Relations in my EB team. Frankly, I was so nervous for the whole day, knowing that in that day there'll be the next LCP elected and lead this LC to give the best to its members and also for the growth of the organization.

It's not post-power-syndrome ;) It's the mix feeling of happiness, pride, and all other emotions. Proud of Pamung, for applying and being selected. Happy to see him as the next LCP. In several months later, the success of this LC is in his hands, depends on where he wants to bring this LC to.

So Pamung, the LC is soon to be in your hands. Go have big vision, start with big plans and do them, and I know you are a great successor :)

-4 months left until my LCP term is over-

We just don't know when are we going to go...

2010-02-26T13:36:00.002+07:00

Dear life,

I know I won't live long, there'll be a time when I have to leave this life
I learned a lot how it feels to leave
I had the experiences of leaving
It was not leaving life, but I it was leaving a part of life to start a new one

I looked back to the place I left
Schools, old places, some family members, old friends
Some of them are still keeping in touch with me, some of them are not
I guess some of them, if not most of them, have forgotten the times we spent
Some others still have sweet or bad memories

But what if I really have to leave this world, without having a chance to come back?
Am I now leaving good memories to people around me?
Or am I just an ordinary person who is just passing by people's life?

LCP term is about to end in 4 months

2010-02-19T21:45:00.003+07:00

Just had LCP Candidate Screening selection yesterday. That process really really reminded me to exactly the same process I went through last year : LCP Candidate Screening.

My feeling last year: It was good. It was challenging. It was a bit weird though, because I was screened by my own EB team (the same like what Pamung had yesterday).

All I can say to Pamung is GOOD LUCK, my dear LCVP ER!
Whatever the election result later, I know you will do great!

LCP Election is going to be there soon! Next week! I will have my successor!
Gosh, successor!
LCUI is soon to have its new EB and I will be leaving :(

click!

2010-02-07T20:45:00.001+07:00

try to click here, go browse the pages, and see what makes you interested

:)

being efficient in blog-walking

2010-02-06T21:49:00.001+07:00

people clicked on "interesting", "cool", or "random" but did not leave any comment.

is that called efficiency?

this is for my LC

2010-02-02T22:40:00.001+07:00

I don't care, you can call me stubborn or what, I still have the same dream for my LC.

I want LCUI to be number 1 LC in Indonesia for term 09/10 and for next next next terms

LCUI Executive Board for term 2010/2011 will have full personals for each of the functional

milik saya

2010-02-02T19:37:00.000+07:00

tahu tidak apa yang dimaksud dengan rasa memiliki?

ketika kamu tidak tahu dia siapa
tapi kamu tahu dia beridentitas sama
dia berhasil, kamu senang
dia menderita, kamu sedih

ketika kamu sedih karena dia kalah

ketika kamu ikut senang karena dia menang

ketika kamu takut karena dia tak memberi kabar

ketika kamu takut saat melihat dia melakukan kesalahan

ketika kamu berat ditinggal pergi

ketika kamu senang melihat dia kembali

ketika kamu lelah, mendengar dan bertemu dengannya saja kamu kembali menjadi segar

ketika dia adalah orang yang paling mudah merusak mood, karena kamu terlalu dekat secara emosi dengannya

ketika kamu menangis saat dia pergi jauh

ketika kamu menangis ketika kamu tahu, kamu merusak kepercayaannya

It's called multitasking

2010-01-16T13:22:00.002+07:00

Some of people say don't do many things on the same time. But for me, it's wasting time to do only one thing if you can do many things on the same time.

-I am doing my thesis, working on MCVP OGX AIESEC Indonesia application, an LCP, and I still have my incredible personal life-

My Unforgettable LCP Life

2010-01-16T01:16:00.002+07:00

LCP experience is the best experience ever.

that is what I heard from LCPs around the world before I applied for LCP. That also became one of the reasons I went for it.

It's 6,5 month already. 5,5 months left...

I love this experience so much.
I enjoy every second of it.
It's now my best experience ever.
It opens my eyes to discover myself more.
It opens my eyes to know others more.
It's not just the achievements created, but all the smiles, laugh, and efforts behind them.

I know I will miss my LCP experience.

Those the same people

2010-01-12T21:52:00.002+07:00

Those people can make you happy
also can make you sad

They can make you smile and laugh
or make you cry

They can make you proud
and make you disappointed

They can fly you high
or throw you away

*sigh. those people...

My journey on my first thesis adviser meeting

2010-01-10T23:28:00.003+07:00

My thesis adventure is about to begin. The proposal is already sent to economics department, the thesis adviser is already there, the idea is also heading in my mind, the spirit is here, and I bet the challenges are waiting on the way.

My first meeting with Pak Lepi, whom finally agreed to be my thesis adviser was sooo interesting. Pak Lepi is a 63 years old professor of International Economics. I met him the first time in Economics of Development class. I was impressed by this calm, smart, and charismatic lecturer and I wanted to know more about him and his thoughts. Finally, there I was in my first personal meeting, talking about my ideas and elaborating them with his knowledge.

The interesting part of having the meeting is it happened in LPEM (Lembaga Penelitian Ekonomi Masyarakat), UI Salemba. This place is located in the central of Jakarta. I went there from Cilandak Town Square, after having meeting with PBoX HIV/AIDS team. I went there with my driver, while it was raining half the way and traffic jam was everywhere. Unfortunately, my driver couldn't wait for me until I finish the meeting because I have my younger sister who has to be picked up home from her school. So I decided to go to Depok from Salemba by myself, eventhough I didn't know how.

I finished the meeting at 1.30pm and I had another meeting with my EB in LC office at 2pm, which is located in Depok. I knew it's impossible to be in Depok at 2pm, so I texted my EB that I would arrive late, it'll be at around 3pm and I asked them to prepared the meeting materials first. After that, I thought several times on how I could go to Depok.
I called my driver, he was still on the way home after picking up my sister and they were trapped in a traffic.
My dad was not in Jakarta, so it's impossible for him to help me go back to Depok.
I called Laras, one of my EB, asked how to get to Depok by train. Honestly, it was my first time taking train after more than 15 years. I went to Cikini train station with ojek, arrived there, and I knew that people could see me as an amateur train-user because I kept asking where was the place to buy ticket, where I could get to the train, which direction I should be waiting, and other things. But however, it was really fun :)

I was on time, the train left the station at 1.54pm and I arrived there at 1.50pm so I didn't have to wait so long. I got into the train, got a seat, enjoying my time, looking around, calling my mom who was surprised to know I used a train, looking to the roads outside the train and saying thanks to God because I'm using this train and not trapped in the traffic outside there.

I arrived in Depok at around 2.40pm, I went directly to LC office, started the meeting with my EB, and I felt really good for the whole day, except I didn't have my lunch because of the limited time I had.

My first meeting with my thesis adviser was not just about lecturer things, but I even managed to be a more mature me and learned new things. I used train, I had 3 meetings in 3 different parts of Jakarta in 1 day, I had to put my energy a lot on that day, but I was happy and enjoyed it very much.

Can't wait for the next thesis stories :)

My wish for LCUI

2010-01-07T22:43:00.005+07:00

If writing down wishes and publish them to the whole world can make the wishes come true, here I write them down and I hope they would come true...

AIESEC LCUI term 2010/2011 has full EB team

AIESEC LCUI is the best LC in Indonesia for this term and next terms

Those are the things that I want really much for now. Please make them true. Please make them true.

Thesis Proposal

2010-01-01T23:53:00.005+07:00

PROPOSAL SKRIPSI: sent! :)
(We call thesis for bachelor degree students as SKRIPSI here in Indonesia)

Mr. Ledi Trialdi, please help me to get the best thesis adviser who can help me making a very good thesis. Amin.

Starting from today, January 2nd, 2010, Shirin Zahro will be dealing with her thesis! Woohooo.

It took me 30 minutes to arrange good words before sending the email to Mr. Ledi Trialdi, the lecturer who receives all the thesis proposal, reads them, and decides who will be the thesis adviser for the students. Finally, my email was sent like this:

I know there will be challenges coming while I'm doing this thesis. Maybe the topic won't be the same like in the proposal, maybe the thesis adviser will be very busy, maybe there will be times when I neglect it, but anywaaaaay, I'm happy to know this is the time for me to start writing and doing research for my thesis.

I'm welcoming the challenges for my thesis! Come here, dude! I'll be ready!

This makes me crazy

2009-12-26T20:12:00.000+07:00

I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't know that, and I have no carbons.
-- Adrienne Rich

change!

2009-12-25T14:03:00.002+07:00

While I have to see in a different way
But my heart still wants to see in the same way

Commitment. What is it?

2009-12-21T14:37:00.002+07:00

Lately, many things happened around me that make me think more deeply about a simple powerful word: COMMITMENT.

What is actually "commitment"? When do we need it? Is it there because we want it or because we have to do it? How does it appear? Why do we need it? Thousands questions pop up from my mind.

Sometimes we need to be committed because we have to, because we agree to be so. Sometimes we already know and realize that if we don't commit, then we have to be ready with the consequences...
- When someone works in a company, he knows he has to do the works right, on time, and do what his superordinate says. If he doesn't do all of them, he knows he deserves to be fired.
- When I entered my junior and senior high school, I and my friends had to sign a contract about school regulations we must obey. If we broke one of them, we knew we would get punishment.
- When someone gets married, the man and the woman know that each of them has the responsibility of being a husband and wife. Thus, they know if someone breaks the trust, they can't avoid a fight that can lead to divorce.
- When a president is elected and he takes the pledge, he knows he has to lead a country with justice and he knows everyone in his country relies on him. He's committed to lead a country to grow and protect his people.

But some other times, commitment is just there without you realizing it...
- When you were a kid, your parents sent you to elementary school, you didn't ask for that but your parents expected you to study well, make good friends, socialize with people, and get good score. When your teacher called your parents and told them you did bad things at school, probably your parents will be mad at you and said you made them disappointed. You didn't ask for going to school and you never said you wanted to!
- You joined an organization because your friend wanted you. You didn't apply for it. But one time when you didn't do the work well, your friend got angry and said he didn't like the way you did your work.
- You were born as a woman, of course you didn't ask for it. You grow up and you get married. Then, you are pregnant, you give birth, and you have kids. You never asked to be a woman, but you have to live your life as a woman, you will be pregnant and you will give birth. You never asked for it but you have to do it. Eventhough you don't want to have kids, surely you will be in your period every month and you will have other things that only women have.

Well, your commitment is not only required when you are asked to be committed. Everytime you have to be committed, in every single thing you do.
Why? Because you don't live alone in this world. You live side by side with other people who are affected with the activities you do, with the decisions you make. You are dealing with people's expectations. Sometimes you don't want to put a damn on what people think, but at last you can not do it. You will never can live alone.

COMMITMENT. A simple word which reflects your attitude towards other and can make other people perceive you differently depends on how you live it.

Being 20

2009-12-19T11:10:00.002+07:00

Now I'm 20 years old. Gosh, 20!!! I'm the oldest child in my family and it makes me feel even older since no one is in university yet, no one is using internet as much as me, no one speaks English as often as me, no one has thick-english-economics book as I do, no one sleeps later as often as I do, and many other things kids don't do which I do in my house.

In this 20th year of my existence, I think I should've had done more. I should've been closer to my God, did more right things for myself, my family, my friends, and people around. I should've could spoken more languages, wrote better writings, went to more places, spoke better words, behaved more proper, and contributed more to this world.

In spite of the regrets, I'm proud of myself for being like now. Having my bachelor degree in Economics Faculty, Universitas Indonesia and have great friends there and in every part of the world. Proud for taking a chance in AIESEC and now leading one of the Local Committees. Although at the other side, not every aspect of my life is good, but some of it is worth to be proud of.

One thing from this age which begun with number 2 is high expectation from my parents on my future. For them, future means many things; graduation, job, salary, and marriage.
By the way, I have some of my cousins already got married in their 20th age and some of them are going to get married. For me, 20 is too young, man! I can't imagine myself, in this age, with this ego, get married and live with someone in a house, meeting him everytime I wake up, go back home, before sleep, go back and forth everyday for the rest of my life. Hmmm, maybe not now ya.
I don't mean marriage is a scary thing but I don't think it's the time yet, being in a relationship is ok, but not marriage yet.

I'm gonna graduate soon in around 6 months (if everything goes smooth, amin). Graduation! It's one of the big things in life journey. Graduation means welcoming day of the real life. Graduation means a big question pops up: WHAT'S NEXT?
Graduation means it's now the time for you to do what you dreamt of. If you want to change the world, start now!

Job is another thing. What kind of job that I want? What is the most important part I would consider when I take a job? Salary, impact, self actualization, or hobby?

Well, being 20 is not easy for sure, but I guess it makes me smarter, to think about all those questions. About where to go in this life.

statistic menu in myaiesec.net

2009-12-18T22:35:00.004+07:00

Believe it or not, statistic is my favourite menu in myaiesec.net which makes me feel happy, sad, passionate, motivated, and always strive to do more.

If you can't ready what is written there, it shows the rank of every LC in AIESEC Indonesia based on the exchange performance.

AIESEC Univ Andalas is leading with 53 exchanges, Brawijaya is following with 38 exchanges, UI is number 3 with 28 exchanges, followed by Bandung, Surabaya, and Univ Diponegoro with 21, 15, and 10 exchanges.

Oh, come on UI!! Can we become number 1 LC in Indonesia???

Aku di Dalam Kubangan

2009-12-14T23:50:00.001+07:00

Terkadang orang tidak berpikir jernih ketika berambisi
Tetapi ambisi memang terkadang timbul tanpa harus punya pikiran jernih
Namun ketika ambisi mengeruhkan pikiran
Apakah ambisi harus hilang untuk kembali menjernihkan pikiran?

Aku sayang kamu
Aku tidak tahu apakah pikiranku jernih atau tidak
Aku terperangkap dalam kubangan
Sedangkan kamu berada di luar, bebas dan lepas

Kamu tidak mengerti
Bahwa berada dalam kubangan membuat pikiranku tidak jernih
Membuatku tidak perduli
Bahwa kamu yang berada di luar sana sudah hendak terbang

Namun kamu juga bodoh
Bila memang mau terbang, terbanglah sana
Tidak usah menengok ke bawah
Jangan mengulur waktu dengan melihat ke kubangan
Aku bisa menjaga diriku sendiri
Aku sudah terbiasa

Updates of Me

2009-12-13T13:40:00.003+07:00

Updates of my life recently:

- Mom n Dad are home from their hajj!! Their presence at home now is really really priceless :)

- I had my first national conference facilitator experience. It was cool and I don't want it to be my last NatCon faci experience

- One of my friends lost her passport n now busy working with the bureaucracy to work on the documents so she can go home as soon as possible (Yes, she lost her passport!) -- Hope she won't be complaining if she reads this

- MC Indonesia application is now open! Application downloaded! Filling in the application & persuading parents are on progress

- Final exams starts this Monday. It means my LC works will be slowing down, all the people are busy with exams

- I miss one of my friends whom I don't talk to for about 2 weeks

- I found a quote which now I love so much. I made it by myself:
Instead of feeling tired and give up, it's better to feel tired, keep going on, and finally achieve what we want, so the efforts are paid off. It's a lot better to remember the tiring moment ends with victory rather than only remembering the tiring moments.

My life has been so fun, challenging, and exciting!

I'm waiting for the shining sun

2009-12-12T21:03:00.002+07:00

I open all my windows but still can't find the shining sun
It's not dark at all, but where the hell is the shining sun?

Oh, I guess it's hidden by the clouds
Where the sun is playing around with the clouds,

I'm here waiting, staring to the sky, hoping the clouds will disappear
Hoping the clouds will disappear forever
Hoping the sun shines forever
So I don't need to open more windows and looking for the shining sun like a foolish

missing

2009-12-05T01:44:00.001+07:00

I miss you so much.
Like really really really so much.
:(

Can't wait for Jan to come

2009-11-26T14:07:00.003+07:00

I'm thinking about going off for a while in January. Where should I go? Cheap and relaxing destination is preferred :)

- Bangladesh is on the list! Well maybe it's still related to work, but I think it can be relaxing :)

- Palembang is also a good idea. Catching up with lots of cousins & big family combined with the traditional arabian-palembang food adventure will be awesome

aku, kakak tanpa nama

2009-11-26T13:08:00.000+07:00

Hujan gerimis turun, langit terlihat gelap, sepertinya sebentar lagi hujan akan bertambah deras, "I never like rain," gumamku dalam hati. Aku meneduh sebentar di pinggiran sebuah warung, mengambil payung dari dalam tas dan segera kembali berjalan menembus hujan menuju rumah Gya, murid les privatku. Aku tiba dengan celana panjang yang sedikit basah pada ujungnya dan sepatu yang basah pula, "A very nice looking, a very good day!" ujarku dalam hati, menyindir penampilan dan nasibku di hari ini.

"Halo kak, ayo ayo masuk. Wah, kehujanan ya? Aku tadi ngira kakak hari ini ga bakal dateng karena hari ini gelap kayak mau hujan deras banget. Hehe." Gya, murid les privatku membukakan pintu dan menyambutku dengan polosnya, "Hehe, aku tetep dateng dong, aku tau kamu pasti sedih kalo hari ini aku ga dateng, makanya aku bela-belain hujan-hujanan" jawabku sekenanya, "Yeee," Gya hanya menjawab dengan gaya khas anak-anak.

Dulu kecil aku pernah berpikir ingin jadi dosen, karena aku senang melihat ayahku mengajar dan rasanya itu terlihat pintar. Aku rasa aku punya hasrat mengajar sejak kecil, hanya saja tidak sebagai seorang guru sekolah, aku tidak suka mengajar anak-anak dalam kelas besar. Tapi sekarang saat aku sudah mahasiswa, rasanya aku tidak ingin jadi dosen lagi, tapi kebetulan aku menyalurkan minat mengajarku sebagai seorang guru les privat, sebenernya bukan karena mengingat minat atau bakatku, tapi lumayan untuk menambah uang saku yang bisa aku gunakan saat aku perlu, lagipula mengajar matematika untuk anak SD tidak sulit. Menambah uang saku dengan cara ini yang paling menarik bagiku, aku tidak berkeinginan untuk bekerja part time di restoran atau magang di kantoran.

2 jam sudah berlalu sejak aku tiba di rumah Gya, saatnya mengakhiri pelajaran hari ini. Di akhir les, saat aku sedang berbincang-bincang santai dengan Gya sambil menunggu hujan sedikit mereda, Gya bertanya padaku, "Kak, aku pengen deh jadi guru les kalau udah besar nanti," "Kenapa?" tanyaku, "Kayaknya enak aja, bisa ngajar anak-anak, trus kan kalo jadi guru les ngajarnya ga repot, ga kayak guru di sekolah. Trus aku juga pengen pinter kayak kakak," Aku tersenyum dan berkata, "Tentu aja kamu bisa. Asal belajar yang rajin ya. Aku pulang dulu ya Gya, minggu depan kita ketemu lagi."

Hari-hari berganti minggu, berganti bulan, dan tahun. Hingga lewat sudah 10 tahun sejak aku menjadi guru privat bagi Gya. Kini usiaku 31 tahun dan bekerja di sebuah perusahaan negara. Pekerjaan yang kurasa cukup bagi hidupku. Hingga suatu hari secara tidak sengaja aku bertemu Gya, "Kakak," panggil seseorang di belakangku, "Eh, kamu Gya ya?" spontan aku bertanya ketika aku melihat wajah yang tidak asing ini, "Iya! Ya ampun, kakak apa kabar? Sekarang kakak dimana?" "Baik, baik. Aku sekarang bekerja di perusahaan negara, masih di sini koq. Kamu gimana?" "Aku sekarang kuliah di Universitas terbaik, persis seperti kakak dulu, aku sekarang jadi guru privat matematika loh kak" "Oh ya? Wah, selamat ya. Usiamu sekarang 20 bukan? Sebentar lagi lulus dong. Mau kemana setelah lulus?" "Iya, mudah-mudahan tahun depan aku menyelesaikan kuliah. Setelah itu aku pengen bikin usaha sendiri. Mau bikin lembaga les privat bahasa inggris." "Oh ya? Wah, jarang loh anak-anak baru lulus terpikir untuk langsung bikin bisnis sendiri," "Iya, tau ga kenapa? Aku terinspirasi sama kakak sejak aku kecil, sampai sekarang aku jadi terobsesi sama 'english private'." Kata Gya sambil tersenyum. Akupun terdiam, tak menyangka. Apakah itu memang aku?

maybe not now

2009-11-25T22:13:00.003+07:00

Seems I know a lil bit how it feels to be a mom (2 weeks left by my parents)

n think that i dont really want to experience it in these short years coming

ambisi dalam dunia yang diam

2009-11-13T00:15:00.001+07:00

Ga ada gunanya cuma 1 orang yang berambisi tapi yang lain berdiam *sigh

impian masa kecil

2009-11-07T15:46:00.003+07:00

Waktu masih kecil, kira-kira saat berumur 4-6 tahun, saya sangat suka berimajinasi. amat sangat suka. hal yang paling sering saya imajinasikan adalah tentang masa depan.
saya berimajinasi akan seperti apa saya nanti di usia belasan tahun atau puluhan tahun. biasanya imajinasi berputar di usia 15-20tahun.

seringkali bertanya pada diri sendiri, nanti akan smp dimana, sma dimana, kuliah dimana, punya prestasi apa, kerja dimana, tinggal dimana kalau udah besar, punya teman seperti apa, bisa bahasa apa, punya handphone sendiri ga ya, bisa nyetir ga ya, pernah keluar negeri sendirian ga ya, bisa masak ga, bisa menginspirasi ga, jago ngomong di depan banyak orang ga, punya banyak teman ga, bisa keluar kota sendiri ga, dan banyak pertanyaan lain yang dilanjutkan dengan imajinasi dan mimpi-mimpi besar.

- saya pernah ingin jadi pramugari, karena pramugari itu cantik (hehehehe) dan bisa keliling dunia
- saya pernah ingin kerja di bank, karena saat menemani orangtua ke bank dan melihat kesibukan para pekerja bank, mereka terlihat "eksekutif dan eksklusif", kayaknya kalau seperti itu keren
- saya ingin punya banyak teman dari berbagai belahan dunia, supaya bisa mengerti gimana rasanya berteman dengan orang yang berbeda-beda (dulu suka nonton sesame street dan sering mendengar bahwa diversity itu indah)
- kalau baca koran halaman indeks harga saham, saya sering memperhatikan halaman itu dan berpikir, kayaknya keren kalo bisa mengerti maksud dari angka-angka yang ada disini
- saat ditinggal ayah saya keluar kota atau keluar negeri, saya berpikir suatu saat saya akan seperti beliau, pergi keluar kota dan keluar negeri sendiri lalu pulang bawa oleh2 :)
- saat sedang siap-siap mau pergi sama keluarga n lama menunggu mama pakai make-up, saya berpikir nanti kalau saya sudah besar saya ga mau pakai make up
- saat ada teman orangtua dari luar negeri yang datang dan saya ga ngerti mereka ngomong apa, saya berpikir nanti saya harus bisa bahasa asing

dan saya punya jutaan mimpi dan imajinasi lainnya, bahkan sampai sekarang.

impian masa kecil sudah ada yang tercapai, ada yang belum, dan ada yang tidak. yang tidak tercapai tentunya tergantikan dengan sesuatu yang baik.
saya harap saya akan mencapai mimpi-mimpi masa depan.

Keinginan Terbang dan Rasa Ego

2009-10-21T18:19:00.002+07:00

Dia ingin terbang
Dia tidak hanya ingin, tapi juga bisa terbang
Dia punya keberanian, punya tekad, punya niat
Dia juga punya teman yang siap menemaninya terbang
Landasan udara sudah disiapkan
Tapi dia tak punya bahan bakar

Dia tahu dimana bisa mendapat bahan bakar
Hanya ada satu penjual bahan bakar
Tapi dia tak mau kesana
Dia memilih untuk tidak terbang
Daripada harus membeli bahan bakar disana dan bertemu sang penjual

Temannya bilang tak apa membeli bahan bakar disana
Tapi dia tak mau
Dia pikir buat apa beli bahan bakar
Penjualnya pasti tak mau menjual untuknya
Atau dia harus membayar mahal untuk itu
Karena dia tahu sang penjual tak pernah mengizinkannya terbang

----------------------

Dia menjual bahan bakar yang dipakai untuk terbang
Dia mengolah sendiri bahan bakar itu
Supaya setiap orang dapat terbang dengan aman
Tapi walaupun dia tahu setiap orang bisa terbang dengan aman
Dia tidak akan melepaskan seseorang untuk terbang
Dia tidak akan menjual bahan bakar itu untuknya

Orang itu tidak pernah membeli darinya, bahkan tidak pernah berkunjung untuk menanyakan bahan bakar
Tapi dia tahu, orang itu sangat ingin membeli bahan bakar
Dan sangat ingin terbang
Tapi biarlah, dia tak akan melepas orang itu untuk pergi
Dia tak akan melepaskan orang itu untuk suatu risiko
Rasa ego mengalahkan segalanya
Memadamkan niat orang itu untuk bisa terbang
Bahkan sebelum orang itu mencoba untuk terbang
------

the power of facebook status

2009-10-04T23:56:00.002+07:00

Whenever you feel like no one cares about you
just type what you feel in your facebook status

you will see some of your friends giving comments and you know they care

just did it, good way of therapy :)

ps: i think it also works if you feel like you need some attention from the people :p

hate the dark sky

2009-10-04T13:01:00.002+07:00

Whenever the sky goes dark
I prefer to go somewhere else
and forget that I need to do something important

I simply hate the dark sky

BELAJAR DARI KESALAHAN!

2009-09-29T21:39:00.000+07:00

BELAJAR DARI KESALAHAN!

LCUI, can we do more?

2009-09-26T22:55:00.003+07:00

Dearest people,

I have a new template for my blog starts from today! Yeay! :)

Today I just read an email contains the exchange newsletter of AIESEC in Indonesia.

Indonesia is doing good in terms of growth compared to last year. So glad and proud to read this.

But for my LC, is not doing really well. UI is now number 3, no longer number 1. :(

At the other side, I'm very proud of LC UA, with Yamin as the LCP. I remember the time when I and Yamin talked when we were going to apply as LCP. It was not easy, but then here we are now. Especially, here Yamin is now, leading the best LC in Indonesia.

This is I am now, an LCP. Being in this position for almost 3 months is really challenging. I can say that this is the best-most intense experience I've ever had.

The LCP experience has given me a lot. I was LCVP last term, I was in EB, but it's really different to be the LCP with all the challenges, the ups and downs.

Now, the first 3 months of being an LCP, my LC is not number 1 yet.

Some feelings come to my mind, can I do it? Am I really giving impact? Am I contributing enough? Does my team really have the same spirit?

I know 3 months is short and I still have 9 months left to prove that I can do more, but still the fear is here.

The last words from the email is still running in my mind

Where is other LC? Bandung, UI, UB, UD?

I didn’t see their Raise?

Why our Raise is only 8 in September?

November, December, January PBOX is coming right?...

So what happen???

Will OGX IF be successful??

Is your LC prepare the OGX IF well already?

So, are we leaving UA and Surabaya to Stand alone for AIESEC Indonesia?

Or will YOUR LC join as well....?

Indonesia, BISA or TIDAK BISA....?

I miss the right words in the right time

2009-09-22T11:09:00.003+07:00

One word

can really change the mood

change the way you see others

change the whole day

change the world

Every word that you say

and how you say it

does matter

to everyone who you talk to

who read what you wrote

Well everyone knows it, I think

but still

no one can read other's mind

and know what they expect

and predict

how he says

can affect how other's live their life for the rest of the day

writing my dreams

2009-08-05T00:34:00.003+07:00

I read some articles and books saying that if we really strive to achieve our dreams and we focus on it, we can achieve it.
I watched Oprah Show and some of the people approved that after they wrote or put their dreams on the lists so they could see it everyday or everytime they want, finally they achieved the dreams that they wrote.
I read the book "the secret" and the author said that if you put your dreams like you are living it, someday you'll achieve it.

So here I am, sitting in front of my online laptop at 12.37 am, can't go to sleep and about to start typing my dreams.
Publishing in my blog maybe looks so silly but people can see that I put these dreams as serious things. So maybe people can remind me that I need to strive hard to achieve them.

Here they are, my dreams I want to achieve before I become 25 years old:
- I work in MC National and International
- I work in AI
- I want to go abroad visiting at least 5 countries that I've never been there before
- I inspire many people to actualize their life and to live their life with peace
- I lead international people in international forum as an Indonesian girl
- I drive my own car :p
- I get a scholarship and have my master degree in Economics abroad
- I write a book
- I make Indonesia proud of me ;)

Well, writing my dreams on the blog is not that easy, but it's fun anyway :)

Hope by writing those dreams I can really achieve them (at least you need to remind me if you see that I'm in low motivation).

Already late now, time to have some rest.

Facing the differences

2009-08-02T23:05:00.002+07:00

People are....
simply different!

I wish I could understand all of them.

I wish people knew
that difference is there
so they could learn about themselves more
so they could understand the world more
so they could enrich themselves with the differences.

I am facing the differences
which sometimes make me feel nervous, upset, curious, and afraid
but then at the end it completes the life
in one way of learning.

egoistic

2009-06-30T00:54:00.002+07:00

I am praying for my happiness
and ours
not yours

I am wishing luck for me
for us
not you

I will call you, send you messages, loving you
so I can have you

I miss you
because I need you to be here

I don't care about him or her
I care about you
because I care about myself

It's just all for me.

copied from anonymous

hate to wait

2009-05-21T00:41:00.001+07:00

Hate to wait.
Hate to wait.
Hate to wait.

2009-05-21T00:40:00.001+07:00

Do you ever take a step back and think?

2009-04-26T20:43:00.002+07:00

Love this... Self reflection mode: ON.

Love PBoX

2009-04-26T00:06:00.003+07:00

This is April 25th, 2009. This is the day when Project Based on Exchange Children of Tomorrow (PBoX COT) is officially closed. The Organizing Committee organized this closing with an exhibition contains of children performances, drawing & coloring competition for children, talkshow about children, n many other things.

PBoX COT is an annual project in AIESEC Universitas Indonesia. We organize a social project focusing on children to give impact to society and package it with exchange by inviting youth from abroad to help children NGOs in Indonesia and to help the AIESEC members doing this PBoX.

I personally see PBoX as a very powerful learning platform. I can get so many learning & development by joining PBoX. I know how to manage a project, deal with team problems, have meetings with companies for sponsor, media, NGOs, speakers, gain international network, learn how to do financial management of a project, even more personal things like I know myself more, I understand people more, I realize that I can give impact to other people's life, and sooooooooooooooo many many many other benefits.
Yes it's tiring, yes sometimes dealing with team problems is frustating, yes it's not that easy but YES it exceeds my expectation, forces me to know that I can do things more than I thought I could do, n it makes me even find myself.
YES I'm developed n I'm developing others at the same time.
YES I get positive impact for myself and I give positive impact to my society.

Huge admiration to the concept creator of PBoX.

Do Something!

2009-04-16T23:16:00.002+07:00

You always say this, "SPIRIT! I know you can make it!"

But why you do nothing?

sick of being a deadliner

2009-04-13T21:47:00.003+07:00

Working very close to deadline drives me crazy.

What I can learn from this:
Avoid giving short deadlines to the people around me, it also can make them crazy. hehe.